Why Italy
ethnic troubles within my family?
My father is Puerto Rican and my mother is Italian-Sicilian/Irish. Thing is, I identify as "other" or "mixed", but my mother's side of the family really hates when I show any type of pride or interest in my puerto rican heritage, namely one of my aunts. She downplays and minimizes it and gets mad whenever I bring it up yet if i wear anything with any kind of european heritage or flag she's all happy and compliments it. She feels this way because i was raised more on my mother's side but yet i don't identify with italian heritage nor do i really care for it. (Irish is another story, I like Irish culture). My grandfather (mom's dad) gets the same way and shoves italian down my throat, asking me why i'm not interested in dating italians nor do i take any kind of interest of pride in it. Its not that I don't like italians (well, maybe a little since how a lot of them act), but I'm proud of ALL of me, not just one part. I honestly feel their attitude towards it is racist because if i show any kind of "italian" or "irish" pride, its ok but not if i show any kind of interest in my hispanic heritage. my mom says its because my father (he wasn't there in my life and when he was it was negative on both of us) and how they feel about my father but i honestly feel they should accept all of me not just take "their credit" and one side of me. what could be the problem with them and that? first of all i grew up with both customs because i was on both sides of my family. my father wasn't completely absent, just not there in the way he should be. but i was a part of HIS family too. secondly, the "italian" side wasn't really brought up completely on italian food, more like "wannabes". i don't deny either of my heritage, i just don't like how my mother's side always puts my other side down.
Public Comments
- Maybe they aren't deliberately being racist, they just didn't like your dad and want to forget him. I don't think you can change their minds. Be tactful and don't let them know you're proud of your Puerto Rican blood, keep it to yourself so as not to upset them.
- This has to do with the fact you are identifying with a culture you are not really part of. You said your father isn't around; so you are glorifying a culture you have no ties to. You grew up with an Italian background. You learned Italian customs and ate Italian food. Yet, you discontinue that and identify with a culture you weren't brought up in. I would be offended if I were your family too. They raised you on what they knew and believed in and now it's "not good enough" In all honesty, you shouldn't hate your Italian hertiage. You are just as Italian as you are puerto rican. It's disrespectful to both cultures to deny one or the other. If you tell your puetro rican counterparts that you aren't Italian, you're lying. Where does that get you.
